Braisin' Hussy

Saturday, July 31, 2004

Wahoo! Did a lot of cooking today. In the morning, I made the Sausage-Feta Cream Sauce. It didn't turn out as well as before. I think I put in less feta cheese than usual. It's still good, but it's missing some extra tanginess.

I was looking through my Costco coupons today, and I saw that there was one for chickens- four for two. Awesome! I ended up getting them for forty-five cents a pound. Seven dollars for four chickens. I love a good deal.

I went over to Jon's house afterwards; he's got an extra freezer. I walk in, and Jon says, "Cool. Why don't we make one of those for dinner?" So we did. Jon made an herb butter using sage, thyme, and garlic, and I rubbed it under the skin. I really do enjoy putting rubs under the skin. During the roasting period, we put some sliced potatoes and unpeeled garlic cloves in the pan, where they absorbed the drippings and were fantastic (perhaps even "fantastique"). I'll post a cobbled-together recipe in a bit.

Someday I'd like to kill a chicken. Does that make me weird?

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Thursday, July 29, 2004

Something strange happened to my comments for July 24th, so I'm just going to post the mini-conversation Jen and I had.

Jen: Poor thing. Please don't subject your relatively young, impressionable and generally spot-on tastebuds to such trash again.

Me: I was going to make some more of her "recipes," but I'm getting tired of it. I'm going to take a break and go back to real food. :)

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Tuesday, July 27, 2004

I didn't make anything today. However, I did go to the airport to meet one of my nearest and dearest from college. Welcome back to California, Ys.

And, bonus! I get to go back to the airport tomorrow! Jon and Ryan are returning from their gallivanting. Good times.

I was watching The Amazing Race tonight, and the roadblock where they had to eat two pounds of caviar? Awesome. When I see stuff like that, I say, "Oh, gross, I have to try that." In my TAR dream team of my dad and me, I imagine we'd fight over who'd get to do it, not who'd get to avoid it. (We'd never get chosen, though. He's too good with foreign languages. Also, we've been overseas. A bunch.) I wonder if they allow you to bring sleeping pills. A 20-hour bus trip followed by a plane from Buenos Aires to St. Petersburg. That's rough. I'm sure there must be some people in the race who find it nearly impossible to fall asleep in planes, cars, trains, or buses.

Awesome! We're playing D&D tomorrow night! I want to kill things!

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Monday, July 26, 2004

The Television Without Pity forums are currently down. I'm feeling bereft of snark, and the Food Network boards aren't as good at the funny anti-Sandra-ness. They're more into vitriol over there.

I made another of her "recipes" on Sunday- the Oriental Pork Wrappers. I don't think she knows that most of America has eschewed the "Oriental" moniker. Anyway, the reason I chose these was because Jon wanted me to use up some aging pork sausage while he was away. I should have remembered from the episode (or perhaps just used common sense, because this IS Sandra we're talking about here) that it was recommended that you use Jimmy Dean's Sausages.

They were okay. Working with the wonton wrappers was a bit time-consuming, but on the whole, it was a decent recipe. I don't know WHY you would use the JD sausage; it's more expensive and has all those yummy chemicals in it. So, if you ever decide to make this recipe, use real pork sausage.

My main problem with actually making these recipes has been the cost. It is very expensive to cook this way! Since I had wonton wrappers (fairly cheap, $1.50 for a lot), I thought maybe I'd try the horrible-looking Crab Ravioli. Between the canned crabmeat, ricotta cheese, powdered sauce mix, and milk (I only had access to soy milk), it would have cost around ten dollars. That's more than I want to spend on something with a high probability of ending up in the garbage.

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Sunday, July 25, 2004

This has nothing to do with food.

I just saw the teaser for The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. While I applaud their use of "What a Wonderful World" for the first half, what was up with the action/suspense/very-taking-itself-seriously-blockbuster music in the second half?

Still, whee. I hope the movie does not take itself too seriously, is better than the TV series, and hopefully is as good as the radio series/books.

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Saturday, July 24, 2004

Oh... my tummy hurts.

Although Jen tried to talk me out of it, I tried some semi-homade "recipes." Ugh... thanks, Sandra Lee. (Why? Morbid fascination, I guess.)

On Friday, I tried the Raspberry Cooler. Not a whole recipe, I'm not a lush! Well, we all know from watching how much Sandra loves the booze and sugar, a combo that'll get you a headache in a hurry. Let me tell you, this drink works FAST. It's no wonder the first thing Sandra does when her guests arrive is shove a drink into their hands. It gets them tipsy fast, and they don't really notice how horrible the food is. Later, when they're puking, they blame it on the booze and not the food (although it's likely a combination).

Tonight, I made the Fried Mozzarella Nuggets from the same show (All American Girl Party). Ew, ew, ew. Here's the concept, if you don't feel like clicking on the link: string cheese cut into 1-inch pieces, breaded in Italian bread crumbs, and fried.

The cheese was too bland, and the texture was gross. I thought, "Well, that's peculiar," when I ate a hot one. "Maybe it'll be better once it cools a little bit." No. It went from loose and gluey to rubbery. Having them sit out on a "tablescape" for a half hour or whatever would make them even worse. I did not use marinara sauce for dipping; I just wanted to taste them as they were. And ugh.

You have to move fast to keep the cheese from melting out of the batter. The "recipe" says to drain them on paper towels. This is a bad idea. I don't think it would be possible not to have at least one leak, and that cheese will stick to anything. I totally would not recommend this to a novice cook, because you will get hot oil splattered on you.

Well, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, but that's beside the point.

Yeah, the latter is directly copied from my post at Television Without Pity. I didn't feel like finding a different way of saying the same thing. Maybe later.

I'm going to go find an antacid.

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Thursday, July 22, 2004

Yes, I made salsa and hummus AGAIN.

I made the Hummus No. 1 recipe again. The only thing I changed was that I followed the directions this time and didn't tweak anything. Rob told me that Val told him I should just follow the recipe. So I did. No extra garlic, no extra lemon juice, and I used plain ol' ground cumin, nothing fancy. It's still pretty good.

Salsa No. 4 is very lazy. I modified the recipe from Here in America's Test Kitchen, the companion to the second season of the show. I made it, and man alive, did it need heat! The original recipe calls for half a jalapeno. I ended up adding another jalapeno, a serrano, and a chipotle pepper to it. I was trying hard to get a texture this time, so I didn't want to pulse it too much after the tomatoes were added. I was using the "Petit cut" rather than the regular dice, (not a wise decision), so I had to be careful not to puree it. This was difficult when I kept adding new things. It turned out... not terrible. A little on the sweet side. I could have used fresh tomatoes, but they gave the option of a can, and I was feeling very lazy today.

I don't know why I buy serranos and jalapenos. I guess I just like the notion of mixing up peppers and such. Seriously, if you're making these, I wouldn't sweat the peppers too much. If you buy just jalapenos, it's cool. I'm just a freak.

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Salsa Attempt No. 4

1 14.5 oz can diced tomatoes, drained, or two small ripe tomatoes (about 3/4 lb), cored and cut into eighths
1-2 jalapeno peppers, stemmed and seeded
1 serrano pepper, stemmed and seeded
1 chipotle pepper in adobo
1/4 onion, chopped roughly
1 clove garlic, minced
2 Tbsp cilantro leaves
Juice of 1 lime (about 2 tsp)
Salt and pepper to taste

Pulse all ingredients except tomatoes in food processor until minced, about 5 one-second pulses (scrape the sides of the bowl as needed). Add tomatoes and pulse until roughly chopped, about 2 one-second pulses.

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Well, poo. I didn't get the job.

I made the ambrosia corn again yesterday. I was able to get the full forty minutes at 525. While it's very good, I'm not sure I agree with having my oven on that hot during the summer. I think the grill would work nearly as well.

I'm bereft of family and friends this weekend. Again, poo. But I have plans. Ish. I'm going to make salsa today. Over the weekend I'm going to move a bunch of files off my parents' computer. And clean my house. I'm very keen on trying some things in The Best Recipe. And the masochist in me wants to make something semi-homade. Just to see if my rancor is justified. I mean, there are a million people who watch her show. They can't ALL be watching it for the snark value (however wonderful that would be). I will try a recipe and let you all know how horrible it is.

(By the way, that's not a typo. I like to pronounce it "hoe-mah-day.")

Oh dear. I see I forgot to give credit a while back to Ryan's mom, Rose, for the Hummus No. 2 recipe. I'm sorry! I don't mean to be such a ditz.

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Monday, July 19, 2004

Oh, the temptation. I just stopped by Marshall's and they had a lot of new Le Creuset stuff in. It took strength not to buy the same Dutch oven my brother has (except in blue). $100? What a steal. However, I justified my not buying it by saying, "It's at Marshall's, so there's probably something slightly imperfect. I live relatively close to a Le Creuset outlet; why not just wait and buy a pristine one there? You know, after I get a jorb?"

(I'm supposed to be hearing back about a jorb either today or tomorrow. Fingers crossed!)

Fennel seeds are only mildly successful at getting rid of garlic breath. Parsley works much better.

Ryan had a garage sale on Saturday, along with friends Sara and Marcella. I am totally inspired to get rid of my old stuff. That being said, I did take some of their stuff away. :) I got a D&D manual, some mixing bowls, and a PDA. For free. I borrowed Rob's Game Boy a week ago, and while Ryan, Sara, Marcella, and I were sitting around talking after the sale, Sara knitted me a Game Boy cozy. It's adorable. She's been making iPod and PDA jackets.

We haven't played D&D in a couple of weeks. I miss it.

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Friday, July 16, 2004

I'm posting the recipes below for posterity's sake. I do not recommend you make them.

First of all, there is WAY too much garlic in the salsa. I ate some last night, and I can still taste it this morning. It's like I forgot it was going to be raw. I'd cut it back to two cloves, like in my other recipes. Secondly, Roma tomatoes are not the right choice for this. In the prior recipes, I was using those little tomatoes you get on the vine. I decided to experiment. I was wrong.

On to the hummus. I switched lemon juices (yes, I haven't been using fresh squeezed, and yes, I know I should), and I think the new one is more bitter. The cayenne was a mistake; I should have stuck with the red pepper flakes from No. 2. I don't know. I'll try again next week.
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Hummus Attempt No. 3

1 can garbanzo beans, drained, with liquid reserved
4 cloves garlic
1/2 jalapeno
3 Tbsp lemon juice
1/8 cup tahini
1 tsp cumin
1 Tbsp olive oil
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
Small handful of parsley
Pinch lime zest
Salt and pepper, to taste

Put all ingredients in a food processor and puree until smooth. Add about 1/4 cup of the reserved garbanzo liquid, more if needed for a "thick batter" consistency. Season with salt and pepper. Chill and serve.
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Salsa Attempt No. 3

6 Roma tomatoes
10 tomatillos
4 cloves garlic
1 serrano pepper
3 jalapeno peppers
1 chipotle pepper in adobo
1 onion, in eighths
Juice of 1/2 lime
Small handful of cilantro
Pinch cumin
Salt and pepper, to taste

Turn on the broiler and move the oven rack to the second to the top position. On a broiling pan, arrange the tomatoes, tomatillos, onion pieces, one jalapeno pepper, and one serrano pepper. Place under the broiler and cook until pretty well browned or blackened, turning vegetables to cook evenly, probably 10 to 20 minutes.

Seed the other two jalapeno peppers. De-membrane-ify one of them. Put the jalapenos, garlic, chipotle pepper, lime juice, cumin, and cilantro in a food processor.

Take the vegetables out from under the broiler. Cover for about five minutes. Take the skins off of the tomatoes, tomatillos, and the peppers. Seed the peppers as well as you can, and then put everything in the food processor. Puree until it reaches a consistency you like. Add salt and pepper to taste. Chill before serving.
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Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Argh! I haven't made anything this week! Pretty much I've been eating up leftovers. Today I made the TastyBite Palak Paneer and it was not as good as I was hoping. Sadness.

I still have to write about the cooking class!
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Saturday, July 10, 2004

I'm taking a cooking class today at the California Culinary Academy. Here is the copy from their pamphlet.

Essentials: Kitchen Skills
Learn essential cooking techniques such as searing, sauteing, poaching, and grilling. Work with different proteins (ie. fish, meat, poultry) to create perfectly prepared masterpieces. The menu may include Grilled New York Strip Loin Topped with Red Onion Confit, Seared Sea Scallops with Orange Ginger Sauce, Sauteed Pork Medallions with Wild Mushroom Hunter Sauce and more!

Tell you about it later.
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Wednesday, July 07, 2004

I did a LOT of cooking today. Hummus, salsa, biscuits, corn, and fried chicken. I was kind of tired by the end of it all.

Huzzah for Sigona's! They had the tahini I was looking for. They also had a block of tamarind paste, for which my parents have been searching in order to make their pad thai perfect. Woo, tahini! I like to say it like a Jawa. (I was going to tell a story about my brother falling off his skateboard when he was 13, but it's a little gross, so I'm not.)

Hummus Attempt No. 2 is very different than No. 1. It is a looser consistency and much less cumin-y. As I said in the comment, they are both good hummuses (hummi? hummae?), but they have diverse prospects in life. I would enjoy No. 1 on a pita with some red onion. Hummus No. 2 I would use as a dip for popcorn. I do not think my quest is at an end, yet. Tweaking is needed. The lime zest and jalapeno I threw in just because I had them out for the salsa, but I think they worked. The jalapeno, definitely.

I'm close on the salsa. Very close. Jon says it's still too sweet, but Ryan liked it, and so did I. I was a little surprised when I only needed the juice of half the lime. I also zested it, thinking that perhaps I'd need it, but I didn't (see above).

The corn was... interesting. Interesting in the fact that I was afraid my house was going to blow up. I cranked my oven up to 550 and put the corn in on the broiler pan (just the lower part). I got thirty minutes into it and all of a sudden my oven shuts OFF. It's not just off, it's completely dead. I think I've blown a fuse or something. I also imagine a Backdraft-y kind of situation. I decided to leave the corn in the dead oven for the last ten minutes because it's still pretty damn hot. By the time I pull it, it's gone down to 350, 300-ish. The finished product was very good. I don't know if it was "ambrosia," but I think that may be because my oven wasn't able to go the distance. Next time, 525.

Cheers again to Keckler, from whose website I got the quote from Murder Is Corny.

Cheers also to my friend Kenny, who linked to me a few days ago. Kenny is the undisputed King of Slow Eating. Seriously. If you have a dispute, ask him out to lunch. He's a very funny lad.

(Okay, I've gotten through half of my to-do list.)
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Oven-Roasted Corn (The Nero Wolfe Method)
Murder is Corny by Rex Stout

Wolfe: It must be nearly mature, but not quite, and it must be picked not more than three hours before it reaches me. Do you eat sweet corn?

Cramer: Yes. You're stalling.

Wolfe: No. Who cooks it?

Cramer: My wife. I haven't got a Fritz.

Wolfe: Does she cook it in water?

Cramer: Sure. Is yours cooked in beer?

Wolfe: No. Millions of American women, and some men, commit that outrage every summer day. They are turning a superb treat into mere provender. Shucked and boiled in water, sweet corn is edible and nutritious; roasted in husk in the hottest possible oven for forty minutes, shucked at the table, and buttered and salted, nothing else, it is ambrosia. No chef's ingenuity and imagination have ever created a finer dish. American women should themselves be boiled in water.
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Hummus Attempt No. 2

1 can of garbanzo beans
1/8 cup tahini
3 cloves garlic
1/8-1/4 cup fresh parsley
3 Tbsp lemon juice
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp olive oil
1/4-1/2 tsp red pepper flakes
Salt and pepper, to taste
Pinch of lime zest (optional)
1/2 jalapeno pepper (optional)

Drain garbanzo beans, reserving liquid. Put all ingredients in a food processor and puree until smooth. Add about 1/4 cup of the reserved garbanzo liquid, more if needed for the "thick batter" consistency. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Chill and serve.
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Salsa Attempt No. 2

8 smallish tomatoes
11 tomatillos
1 serrano pepper
2 jalapeno peppers
1 chipotle pepper in adobo
1 onion, in eighths
2 large garlic cloves
Juice of 1/2 a lime
Small handful of cilantro
Salt and pepper, to taste

Turn on the broiler and move the oven rack to the second to the top position. On a broiling pan, arrange the tomatoes, tomatillos, onion pieces, one jalapeno pepper, and one serrano pepper. Place under the broiler and cook until pretty well browned or blackened, turning vegetables to cook evenly, probably 10 to 20 minutes.

Seed and de-membrane-ify the other jalapeno pepper. Put half of this pepper, the garlic, chipotle pepper, lime juice, and cilantro in a food processor.

Take the vegetables out from under the broiler. Cover for about five minutes. Take the skins off of the tomatoes, tomatillos, and the peppers. Seed the pepper as well as you can, and then put everything in the food processor. Puree until it reaches a consistency you like. Salt to taste, and add the other half of the jalapeno if it's not spicy enough for you. Re-puree. Chill before serving.
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Sunday, July 04, 2004

So, the house in which Good Eats was taped is up for auction.
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Saturday, July 03, 2004

I made hummus yesterday. The recipe below was kindly sent to me from Val- thank you muchly. I changed a few things. I was over at Jon and Ryan's, because they have a food processor and I don't. They (J&R) had whole cumin seeds as well as ground, so I decided if I was already going to be toasting the sesame seeds, I might as well toast and grind the cumin. I wasn't really sure how much whole cumin would be in a quarter teaspoon of ground, so I guessed and toasted about half to three-quarters of a teaspoon of seeds, then ground them up in a mortar and pestle. I think it was too much; the hummus turned out VERY cumin-y. Also, I used bottled lemon juice, giving it an extra squirt at the end for some added acidity. That probably made a difference. And an extra clove of garlic.

What I'm trying to do with this hummus is make a clone of the Trader Joe's Spicy Hummus. This was a good start. I will try again soon.

Also, I have more tomatoes, so I'll probably be attempting salsa again next week.
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Hummus Attempt No. 1
Sunset Vegetarian Cooking

1 can (15 oz) garbanzos
1/4 cup sesame seeds
1-2 tablespoons olive oil
3 tablespoons lemon juice
1 large clove garlic, cut in thirds
1/4 teaspoon ground cumin
Salt & pepper

Toast sesame seeds in small frying pan until barely golden. Drain garbanzos, reserving liquid. Put garbanzos into a blender or food processor. Add sesame seeds, olive oil, lemon juice, garlic, cumin, and 1/4 cup of the garbanzo liquid. Whirl, adding more garbanzo liquid if needed, until mixture is smooth and the consistency of heavy batter. Season to taste with salt and pepper.
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