I didn’t make anything today. However, I did go to the airport to meet one of my nearest and dearest from college. Welcome back to California, Ys.

And, bonus! I get to go back to the airport tomorrow! Jon and Ryan are returning from their gallivanting. Good times.

I was watching The Amazing Race tonight, and the roadblock where they had to eat two pounds of caviar? Awesome. When I see stuff like that, I say, “Oh, gross, I have to try that.” In my TAR dream team of my dad and me, I imagine we’d fight over who’d get to do it, not who’d get to avoid it. (We’d never get chosen, though. He’s too good with foreign languages. Also, we’ve been overseas. A bunch.) I wonder if they allow you to bring sleeping pills. A 20-hour bus trip followed by a plane from Buenos Aires to St. Petersburg. That’s rough. I’m sure there must be some people in the race who find it nearly impossible to fall asleep in planes, cars, trains, or buses.

Awesome! We’re playing D&D tomorrow night! I want to kill things!

The Television Without Pity forums are currently down. I’m feeling bereft of snark, and the Food Network boards aren’t as good at the funny anti-Sandra-ness. They’re more into vitriol over there.

I made another of her “recipes” on Sunday- the Oriental Pork Wrappers. I don’t think she knows that most of America has eschewed the “Oriental” moniker. Anyway, the reason I chose these was because Jon wanted me to use up some aging pork sausage while he was away. I should have remembered from the episode (or perhaps just used common sense, because this IS Sandra we’re talking about here) that it was recommended that you use Jimmy Dean’s Sausages.

They were okay. Working with the wonton wrappers was a bit time-consuming, but on the whole, it was a decent recipe. I don’t know WHY you would use the JD sausage; it’s more expensive and has all those yummy chemicals in it. So, if you ever decide to make this recipe, use real pork sausage.

My main problem with actually making these recipes has been the cost. It is very expensive to cook this way! Since I had wonton wrappers (fairly cheap, $1.50 for a lot), I thought maybe I’d try the horrible-looking Crab Ravioli. Between the canned crabmeat, ricotta cheese, powdered sauce mix, and milk (I only had access to soy milk), it would have cost around ten dollars. That’s more than I want to spend on something with a high probability of ending up in the garbage.

This has nothing to do with food.

I just saw the teaser for The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. While I applaud their use of “What a Wonderful World” for the first half, what was up with the action/suspense/very-taking-itself-seriously-blockbuster music in the second half?

Still, whee. I hope the movie does not take itself too seriously, is better than the TV series, and hopefully is as good as the radio series/books.

Oh… my tummy hurts.

Although Jen tried to talk me out of it, I tried some semi-homade “recipes.”  Ugh… thanks, Sandra Lee.  (Why?  Morbid fascination, I guess.)

On Friday, I tried the Raspberry Cooler.  Not a whole recipe, I’m not a lush!  Well, we all know from watching how much Sandra loves the booze and sugar, a combo that’ll get you a headache in a hurry.  Let me tell you, this drink works FAST.  It’s no wonder the first thing Sandra does when her guests arrive is shove a drink into their hands.  It gets them tipsy fast, and they don’t really notice how horrible the food is.  Later, when they’re puking, they blame it on the booze and not the food (although it’s likely a combination).

Tonight, I made the Fried Mozzarella Nuggets from the same show (All American Girl Party).  Ew, ew, ew.  Here’s the concept, if you don’t feel like clicking on the link: string cheese cut into 1-inch pieces, breaded in Italian bread crumbs, and fried.

The cheese was too bland, and the texture was gross.  I thought, “Well, that’s peculiar,” when I ate a hot one.  “Maybe it’ll be better once it cools a little bit.”  No.  It went from loose and gluey to rubbery.  Having them sit out on a “tablescape” for a half hour or whatever would make them even worse.  I did not use marinara sauce for dipping; I just wanted to taste them as they were.  And ugh.

You have to move fast to keep the cheese from melting out of the batter.  The “recipe” says to drain them on paper towels.  This is a bad idea.  I don’t think it would be possible not to have at least one leak, and that cheese will stick to anything.  I totally would not recommend this to a novice cook, because you will get hot oil splattered on you. 

Well, I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone, but that’s beside the point.

Yeah, the latter is directly copied from my post at Television Without Pity.  I didn’t feel like finding a different way of saying the same thing.  Maybe later.

I’m going to go find an antacid.

Yes, I made salsa and hummus AGAIN.

I made the Hummus No. 1 recipe again.  The only thing I changed was that I followed the directions this time and didn’t tweak anything.  Rob told me that Val told him I should just follow the recipe.  So I did.  No extra garlic, no extra lemon juice, and I used plain ol’ ground cumin, nothing fancy.  It’s still pretty good. 

Salsa No. 4 is very lazy.  I modified the recipe from Here in America’s Test Kitchen, the companion to the second season of the show.  I made it, and man alive, did it need heat!  The original recipe calls for half a jalapeno.  I ended up adding another jalapeno, a serrano, and a chipotle pepper to it.  I was trying hard to get a texture this time, so I didn’t want to pulse it too much after the tomatoes were added.  I was using the “Petit cut” rather than the regular dice, (not a wise decision), so I had to be careful not to puree it.  This was difficult when I kept adding new things.  It turned out… not terrible.  A little on the sweet side.  I could have used fresh tomatoes, but they gave the option of a can, and I was feeling very lazy today. 

I don’t know why I buy serranos and jalapenos.  I guess I just like the notion of mixing up peppers and such.  Seriously, if you’re making these, I wouldn’t sweat the peppers too much.  If you buy just jalapenos, it’s cool.  I’m just a freak.

Salsa Attempt No. 4

1 14.5 oz can diced tomatoes, drained, or two small ripe tomatoes (about 3/4 lb), cored and cut into eighths

1-2 jalapeno peppers, stemmed and seeded

1 serrano pepper, stemmed and seeded

1 chipotle pepper in adobo

1/4 onion, chopped roughly

1 clove garlic, minced

2 Tbsp cilantro leaves

Juice of 1 lime (about 2 tsp)

Salt and pepper to taste

Pulse all ingredients except tomatoes in food processor until minced, about 5 one-second pulses (scrape the sides of the bowl as needed).  Add tomatoes and pulse until roughly chopped, about 2 one-second pulses.

Well, poo. I didn’t get the job.

I made the ambrosia corn again yesterday. I was able to get the full forty minutes at 525. While it’s very good, I’m not sure I agree with having my oven on that hot during the summer. I think the grill would work nearly as well.

I’m bereft of family and friends this weekend. Again, poo. But I have plans. Ish. I’m going to make salsa today. Over the weekend I’m going to move a bunch of files off my parents’ computer. And clean my house. I’m very keen on trying some things in The Best Recipe. And the masochist in me wants to make something semi-homade. Just to see if my rancor is justified. I mean, there are a million people who watch her show.  They can’t ALL be watching it for the snark value (however wonderful that would be).  I will try a recipe and let you all know how horrible it is.

(By the way, that’s not a typo. I like to pronounce it “hoe-mah-day.”)

Oh dear.  I see I forgot to give credit a while back to Ryan’s mom, Rose, for the Hummus No. 2 recipe.  I’m sorry!  I don’t mean to be such a ditz.

Oh, the temptation. I just stopped by Marshall’s and they had a lot of new Le Creuset stuff in. It took strength not to buy the same Dutch oven my brother has (except in blue). $100? What a steal. However, I justified my not buying it by saying, “It’s at Marshall’s, so there’s probably something slightly imperfect. I live relatively close to a Le Creuset outlet; why not just wait and buy a pristine one there? You know, after I get a jorb?”

(I’m supposed to be hearing back about a jorb either today or tomorrow. Fingers crossed!)

Fennel seeds are only mildly successful at getting rid of garlic breath. Parsley works much better.

Ryan had a garage sale on Saturday, along with friends Sara and Marcella. I am totally inspired to get rid of my old stuff. That being said, I did take some of their stuff away. 🙂 I got a D&D manual, some mixing bowls, and a PDA. For free. I borrowed Rob’s Game Boy a week ago, and while Ryan, Sara, Marcella, and I were sitting around talking after the sale, Sara knitted me a Game Boy cozy. It’s adorable. She’s been making iPod and PDA jackets.

We haven’t played D&D in a couple of weeks. I miss it.

I’m posting the recipes below for posterity’s sake. I do not recommend you make them.

First of all, there is WAY too much garlic in the salsa. I ate some last night, and I can still taste it this morning. It’s like I forgot it was going to be raw. I’d cut it back to two cloves, like in my other recipes. Secondly, Roma tomatoes are not the right choice for this. In the prior recipes, I was using those little tomatoes you get on the vine. I decided to experiment. I was wrong.

On to the hummus. I switched lemon juices (yes, I haven’t been using fresh squeezed, and yes, I know I should), and I think the new one is more bitter. The cayenne was a mistake; I should have stuck with the red pepper flakes from No. 2. I don’t know. I’ll try again next week.

Hummus Attempt No. 3

1 can garbanzo beans, drained, with liquid reserved

4 cloves garlic

1/2 jalapeno

3 Tbsp lemon juice

1/8 cup tahini

1 tsp cumin

1 Tbsp olive oil

1/4 tsp cayenne pepper

Small handful of parsley

Pinch lime zest

Salt and pepper, to taste

Put all ingredients in a food processor and puree until smooth. Add about 1/4 cup of the reserved garbanzo liquid, more if needed for a “thick batter” consistency. Season with salt and pepper. Chill and serve.